


The Stages of Loss and Grief

by 13luckystars



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: F/M, I also didn’t mean for them all to move away from each other, I even had the ending line written out, I’m really not sure what this is, M/M, Spoilers for 3b, but I’m not sure about the rest, but the story had other plans, mainly the frontotemporal dementia part, maybe I’ll do something else where it’s them and only them, maybe a little mourning on my part, my intention was for them to all get over their grief together, my intention was for this to be completely sterek-centric but it didn’t quite get there, post-3B
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-03
Updated: 2014-06-03
Packaged: 2018-02-03 05:35:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1732988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/13luckystars/pseuds/13luckystars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After everything that has happened, the pack need time to grieve for themselves one step at a time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Stages of Loss and Grief

After the nogitsune, everyone is tired. They are tired of being in Beacon Hills, and being the ones that have to figure out what's going on in the small town. They are tired of the secrets, and the lies, and the guilt of trying to save everyone and being too late. They are tired of being the ones that find the bodies, they're only high schoolers for god’s sake, and they're tired of being tired. For once they want to be able to go out on a Friday night and go to the movies or walk around the mall instead of doing all night research sessions and walks through the woods. They want to be normal teenagers for once, but after the nogitsune, they all know it’s still going to be awhile before any of them can come close to normal. 

Kira doesn't know what to do after they kill the nogitsune. She was new at the school, and was new to this group of people who have been fighting the things that go bump in the night for years. She got close to Scott, really close to Scott, but hadn't gotten very close to anyone else. Anyone else was busy doing their own thing, trying to save Stiles even before they knew that was who they were trying to save. For the most part, she stays away from her new friends. They're all grieving someone that she didn't really have time to get to know, and it hurts too much to get close to Scott when he's hurting so much because of another girl. Sometimes she wishes she hadn't moved here when she had. 

Scott is miserable, and making others around him miserable. He doesn't really leave his house, even though he knows he should. He stays in, plays video games, and talks with his mom. His mom is there for him, holding him when he needs to be held even though he wouldn't want that news reaching anyone else. After Allison, he needs to be held by his mom sometimes, and after Allison, it's too hard to leave the house. If he goes near the woods, he thinks of all the times he and Allison snuck in there for midnight dates, or he thinks about when they went through there on her birthday, or when they had Jackson locked in the back of a police van. Even though her old house is now inhabited by another family, he doesn't dare go past it. Even just looking at the house reminds him of so many things, and he can still faintly smell the girl if he stays there long enough. It seems to Scott that the whole town is just trying to upset him, because no matter where he is, or where he goes in town, he thinks of her. It isn't fair to Kira, and he knows that since the girl has been keeping her distance since Allison happened, but he can't get himself to get near her just yet. He needs to get past Allison first.

Lydia isn't as miserable as Scott, but she's still pretty damn miserable. She feels like she doesn't have anyone now. Jackson went to London after getting the bite, Allison is dead, and all of her other friends are dealing with problems of their own. Sometimes she thinks of getting close to Malia since the girl doesn't have anyone either, but it's too soon, it still feels like she's betraying her best friend, even though she knows she isn't. She picks up leaning languages again, practicing her Latin a little so that she doesn't forget it, and then starts in with others. Her first language since Allison is French. Of course Lydia's mom notices how all of a sudden her daughter is cracking books that aren't for school, but figures if that's what she needs to do to mourn, then she can go right ahead. At least she isn't going out looking for another boy like she did after Jackson. And Lydia tries not to think about what she did to get over Jackson leaving for London, because that brings up a whole other heartbreak. She's trying to focus her emotions toward Allison, but sometimes when she's running through word after word of French, Aiden slips in there too. She wishes he didn't, but she knows she'll get over them both eventually, even if she has to learn ten more languages first.

Since Derek wasn't as close to Allison as everyone else, he doesn't mourn too much. Sure the girl was always around, but she was with Scott and Stiles more than she was ever with Derek. The only impression she ever made on him was being related to Kate, the one who had taken away everything and was apparently back. So Derek didn't really mourn. He hadn't been close to Allison, or Aiden really, so neither of them really hurt him, but the knowledge that Kate was back did. How could she have come back? Did the world want to fuck with him that badly, enough to have allowed Peter to accidentally turn her instead of kill her when he slashed her throat? Of course Derek had heard of it happening before, but he hadn't thought it possible with Kate. He had hoped with all of his being that it had been untrue. And if Kate being back wasn't bad enough, what was up with him dreaming of Stiles of all people when he needed to wake up. He was barely close to the boy, aggravating allies at the best of times, so what was that about? And then his new need to make sure the boy is okay, even though Derek knows he isn't? Since that dream Derek can't count how many times he had ended up at Stiles's house in the middle of the night, making sure he's okay, only to hear him panicking in his sleep. So what does Derek do? Of course he tells the Sheriff, who calms Stiles down, and then allows Derek to stay in the guest room. The Sheriff said something along the lines of, what Stiles doesn't know won't kill him, and had insisted Derek stay when Derek insisted that he had to go. Derek's pretty sure what Stiles doesn't know might kill Derek though.  So Derek had some problems of his own.  

Stiles, well Stiles has definitely been better. If he thought the past few years have been tough with Peter and Matt and the Alpha Pack, then the nogitsune was something that he was definitely not prepared for. He wasn’t prepared to actually lose his goddamn mind and then hurt the people that he loved. And it was made even worse by the fact that he could remember doing everything. Every time the nogitsune did something to someone, he remembers it happening, but it feels like he did it himself. Stiles feels like every bad thing the nogitsune is his fault, because the whole thing wasn’t like an out of body experience, it was as if he was the one doing everything. And man does Stiles hate that. He hates that he hurt the people that he loves the most, mentally and physically, and he couldn’t do anything to stop the nogitsune from doing it. Most of all, he’s just glad that the entire ordeal is over, but he’s still so fucking tired. He’s tired of the guilt and the pitying looks he gets from everyone and mourning Allison and seeing everything he did as the nogitsune when he goes to sleep. He thought that it would be okay once he had his body back, that he would finally be able to sleep, but now he just has occasional nightmares that make him feel like it never ended. He’s wished from the beginning that it hadn’t happened, and that wish just keeps getting stronger every day. He wishes that Scott wasn’t mourning Allison so much that he didn’t even leave his house, and he wishes that he didn’t feel like crying every time he got near his dad, and his wishes that everything could just be calm for two seconds before everything goes to hell again, but of course that doesn’t happen. Of course he finds out that Kate is back, that she was never dead, and that Derek is going to try to take care of the situation by himself. Of course Stiles isn’t going to let that happen, even if he is only a puny human and all the rest of their friends are pretty useless right now.

…

Eventually Kira goes to Scott, even though she knows that he is hurting. She just needs to know where they are, what is going on between them. She needs to know if they are still together, or if they are taking a break, or if they are done completely. She needs to see Scott for herself instead of hearing about how he is doing because she sees his other friends around town. Not that they know any more than she does since he hasn’t been socializing with them either. She just needs to know, and there is a hope that she is trying to smother that she will be able to help him past this, and will be able to bring him back to the land of the living. Maybe it’s a dumb hope, and maybe she just shouldn’t hope for that at all, but she can’t help it when she gets to his house and he lets her in even though there are bags under his eyes, his hair is a mess, and he is only wearing a t-shirt and a pair of sweats. Just the fact that he let her in makes the hope grow stronger, even though she still tries to suppress it.

Honestly, Scott doesn’t really know why he decided that it was a good idea to let Kira in. He wanted to see her, of course he did, but there is a small part of him that is screaming that he is betraying Allison the second the other girl steps in his house. He squashes that, knowing that he wants to see Kira, and talks to her. They talk about what happened, and she listens to him as he tells her about Allison. He knows he runs away with himself and starts telling her things that she definitely does not want to hear about her boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend, but he can’t help himself. He can’t help himself even when he smells her emotion becoming sad, as if she thinks she has already lost him. Before she leaves, he makes a point of pulling her close to him and pressing a kiss to her temple. The two talk a lot more after that, and Scott tries to stay away from talking about Allison.

Lydia ends up spending time with Malia, even though after a little while she starts talking to everyone else too. Eventually Scott becomes a bit happier and Stiles starts feeling a bit better, so they all start to wallow in their misery together. And this time that means with Malia too. When Lydia had gone to the girl, she had definitely needed someone to be around. Lydia knew that Malia hadn’t been human for a while, and needed time to get used to everything that went with it. Lydia needed a distraction, one that got her out of her room every once in a while, and becoming Malia’s friend seemed like as good of one as any. The girl wasn’t a replacement Allison, but she was someone that Lydia could do girl things with. Stiles and Scott just weren’t going to go shopping with her like Allison used to.

When Stiles shows up on Derek’s doorstep angrily ranting about how stupid Derek is to try and go after Kate without any help, Derek feels partly angry that Stiles doesn’t think he can do this on his own, but mostly fond that Stiles feels Derek is important enough to help. The two start making plans, and working with the family that had been hunting Kate for a while, and finding information to help them figure out how they are supposed to defeat her. The two end up spending more time in each other’s presence than either of them think is normal, and at one point the Sheriff lets it slip how Derek sometimes shows up telling him that Stiles isn’t okay. Derek blushed at it, wishing that he could tell Stiles that that hadn’t happened that he hadn’t been creepily watching the boy, but none of that is needed. Stiles launches himself at Derek, suddenly being consumed by a feeling so strong that throwing himself at Derek is the only way to let out the emotion. Derek thinks the boy should have been creeped out, but is thankful that instead of any emotions related to being creeped out, Stiles seemed to feel protected. Derek had to hide the smile on his face.

Stiles is good at doing research, and always has been, but that doesn’t mean the late nights of typing millions of Google searches as he listens to Derek snoring from his bed takes away the stress of what happened. Sometimes when he is looking something up, he’ll just remember something. Sometimes it’s the voice of the nogitsune as he told Stiles to give in, or the way the nogitsune looked like a mummy that had been wrapped and then buried for years, or how he had _hurt people_ and then he wouldn’t be able to research anymore. He would have to force himself to stop, would have to go get a drink, walk around the house, or talk to someone before he could even think about looking up more mythology. And it wasn’t until a particularly bad time when everything had  come rushing back at him at once, causing him to start having a panic attack right at his computer with his hands positioned over the keyboard, did he think about the fact that Derek was in his room, and he had taken care of him before. Derek had told his dad that he was panicking in his sleep and he hadn’t even known it. And that particularly bad time was the first time that Derek had woken up, moved over to the computer desk, and wrapped his arms around Stiles, carefully pulling his hands away from the keyboard, and then carefully pulling his body out of his chair, and over to the bed. His panicking hadn’t immediately stopped, and the voice of the nogitsune hadn’t immediately stopped reverberating through his skull, saying let me in over and over and over, but little by little it got better. And it wasn’t until he had calmed down completely that he realized he was pressed against Derek, clutching at the older man like he was his lifeline, ear pressed against Derek’s chest so he can hear the heartbeat there, that he realized that it wasn’t completely quiet in the room. Derek was muttering things to Stiles, little comforting things to help calm him down, and that was the moment Stiles realized that he needed Derek.

…

Once everyone starts helping out against Kate, it’s much easier to get rid of her once and for all. With Derek, Stiles, Scott, Lydia, Malia, Kira, and the Spanish family, Kate is once again out of their lives, and this time hopefully for good. Everyone moves on, and Beacon Hills actually stays quiet for once, allowing the six to actually be normal for once.

Scott and Kira get back to being together. The two of them go on normal dates, and each of them spend time with the other’s family. Scott tries hard not to have a repeat like the time with the wasabi, and that story quickly becomes Kira’s favorite one to tell. The two act the same way that Scott and Allison did when they were together, but no one points it out.

Lydia helps Malia get used to being human, and helps her become scarily intelligent just like Lydia is. When all of them go back to school, Malia is practically a second Lydia. The guys all want to be with her, but are too scared to do anything. Her grades soar, and even though sometimes she’ll slip into a mean-coyote version of herself, or her mental age, everyone gets along with her quite well. And if sometimes Lydia will come dangerously close to calling Malia Allison, well no one needs to know besides herself.

The most shocking thing that happens after the nogitsune is Derek and Stiles getting together. No one had even had a clue that either of them liked guys, but then all of a sudden the two were holding hands and hugging and kissing and acting like two lovesick idiots and the Sheriff was rolling his eyes at the two of them. Seriously, even Scott hadn’t known about this, but everyone was happy for the two of them. They seemed like a good fit. They both understood what it was like to feel guilty for things that were primarily out of their control, and they understood each other even though they had hated each other for years, and after a bit of time together they found out that Derek was as big of a nerd as Stiles was. Which man was Stiles happy about that when he found that out. And when Scott received the text that pointedly told him that Stiles no longer needed him to watch _Star Wars_ with him because his new boyfriend liked it, well Scott couldn’t have been happier. And even though the two of them were happy, sometimes life just won’t let them have a break.

…

Everything that happens with Kate isn’t long enough after the nogitsune for Stiles not to feel tired. He worked his ass off to get rid of Kate, to keep Derek safe, and now he’s still tired. He still feels like he needs to sleep for the rest of his life, and there are still times when he will wake up in the middle of the night being cradled by Derek as he gulps in big breaths to try to regulate his breathing and to stop panicking. Other than the comforting words, Derek doesn’t say anything about how worried he is about Stiles, or how many times a week Stiles will still wake up panicking. Stiles thought he had been getting better. He thought that since he wasn’t having the nightmares anymore, he was getting better, but now it looked like it just got better before it eventually got worse. Sometimes he feels like he is still being controlled by the nogitsune. Sometimes he will wake up and feel like he is in control, but not completely. He will see things with a rage that he hadn’t known until he had been possessed by an evil fox spirit, and say things that he doesn’t think he means to say. Stiles just wants to sleep more, but he can’t deny that sleeping more is just making it worse. And that’s when he decides that he needs to go talk to someone with a medical degree.

When Stiles tells Derek that he is going to go in for a scan, Derek starts to internally panic. On the outside he is telling Stiles that it’s probably a good idea and he is rubbing his hands up and down the boy’s arms because he can tell that Stiles is panicking at the idea and just needs the reassurance. On the inside Derek is screaming, he’s screaming that Stiles doesn’t need to talk to anyone because he is fine and nothing is wrong. He is screaming that he thought that the frontotemporal dementia was just a trick that the nogitsune was playing, not something that they actually needed to worry about. All he wants is for Stiles to be okay and for him to have the same disease that his mother had is not okay, him dying is not okay, him being sick is not okay. On the outside, Derek is all calm and helpful, but on the inside Derek is frightened and ready to just let his wolf be free.

…

Everyone finds out, of course they do, and then it’s another shitstorm. It’s another round of _Stiles are you okay_ and pitying looks from everyone in Beacon Hills and the Sheriff looking like he’s going to breakdown any second. It’s months of the doctors doing whatever they can to stop it from progressing and months of Stiles not going to school and months and months and months of time spent with the smell of disinfectant firmly lodged in Derek’s nose. Finally, Derek has to consult the Sheriff because there is no way he is losing the most important person in the world to him, and there is no way he is letting the Sheriff lose his only son. Derek has been thankful that everyone clued the Sheriff into werewolves for a long time, but never has he been as thankful as when he asks what the Sheriff thinks about giving Stiles the bite and the Sheriff cries because _dammit Derek I thought I was going to lose my only son to the same disease that his mother had and I couldn’t do it. I was ready to do anything for him, anything that the doctors told me might help because I can’t lose him. Never did I think about the bite and if you think that I am going to tell you that you can’t do that to him knowing that it’s his only chance at surviving, then you must think I’m insane. If Stiles wants it, then please please please help him Derek._ And it doesn’t take any more than that for Derek to be fully convinced of what he has to do.

Stiles knows that taking the bite is the only way that he will survive this. He has done his reading, learned everything he could when his mom was diagnosed with the same thing, and he wasn’t dumb, when the doctors said that he was most likely going to die, he knew they meant it. Stiles knows that taking the bite is the only way, and had thought of it immediately when he came in, but couldn’t bring himself to bring it up. For so long he had resisted the bite, and still didn’t necessarily want it, but what was he to do if the only other option was dying? Compared to that, the bite sounded wonderful, but he still didn’t say anything. He waited until Derek came rushing into his hospital room urgently whispering to him about how he wanted to give him the bite and how it was the only way they could live together for the rest of their lives and how Derek really wanted to give Stiles the bite so they could have their forever and all these other things and all Stiles could do was nod dumbly as Derek went on and on and on.

…

The bite took, baffling the doctors when suddenly the disease was gone and Stiles was free to go. They were calling him a miracle, saying that the disease had just completely disappeared, and Stiles couldn’t help but wrap his hand in Derek’s and smile softly at the man because now they could have their forever.

…

Exactly a year after the nogitsune, everyone goes to the cemetery to visit Allison’s grave. They’ve all become a bit happier, and it’s easier for them to talk about her freely, but none of them have gone to visit with other people since the initial funeral. All of them have been there  a few times, but always alone. None of them were ready to share their pain quite yet.

A while back, months before the one year anniversary of their friend’s death, her father had come back. He and Isaac had gone away for a while, after leaving because they needed space from the place that reminded them of _her_. Mr. Argent looked incredibly rough around the edges, like he hadn’t been sleeping since he had left, and Isaac had looked like he was doing okay, definitely better than Allison’s father. What none of them had been expecting though was that the moment Scott saw Isaac again, Scott’s fist would immediately connect with the other boy’s jaw, making a sick cracking noise permeate the air. No matter who tried to hold him back, the swings and kicks and vicious phrases leaving Scott’s mouth couldn’t be stopped. He didn’t stop until he was in tears and Isaac, and everyone else really, was looking at him with shock. Scott hadn’t apologized, just dusted himself off, wiped the tears off of his face, and had walked away with Kira trailing behind him.

The trip to the cemetery would be the first time that the two would see each other again since that first day, and everyone was nervous about what would happen. Stiles had since learned that Scott had been mad that Isaac had had the audacity to leave when everyone there was mourning her death too. Scott had been so mad because _didn’t he think that I needed time to get away from this place too? Didn’t he think that the feelings I had for her were still rooted deep inside me and that every little thing had made me want to punch something because she shouldn’t have had to die? Didn’t he think that all of us needed time away from her memory, but we couldn’t leave because we knew this place was practically a supernatural time bomb and that if we left, someone could get hurt?_ All of them could understand why Allison’s father would leave. He had lost his sister, or so he thought, then his wife, then his father, and finally his daughter. Everyone understood why Chris would feel the need to leave, but Isaac? No one could see Isaac’s excuse, least of all Scott.

When their visit finally happened though, everyone acted civil. Scott and Isaac stayed as far away from each other as possible, and then everyone left, needing to get away from that place once again.

...

Once senior year is over, everyone starts to pull away, like they can’t seem to deal with being around each other anymore. The pain isn’t reflected in their eyes anymore, not unless a memory comes up, but for some reason everyone shifts apart. Maybe it is the fact that some of their group do not like each other much anymore, or maybe it is because they all went through something traumatic together and being around the other’s still makes everything difficult, whatever the reason may be, the summer after their senior year is not full of hanging out with each other like it should have been. Instead it’s Scott going on vacation with Kira and her parents, and Lydia going to college early, and Malia trying to figure out her actual father even though she should have done that a long time ago, and Stiles and Derek becoming closer and closer. Maybe it’s for the best that they don’t stay close over the summer, because the next year everyone is leaving for college. Derek is following Stiles to the college he goes to, and Scott and Kira are going to the same school, and maybe everyone was right when saying that you don’t really stay close with the people who were your best friends when you were in high school. Sure they’ll still stay in contact, but that bond will never really be the same again. They might have gotten through initial grief because of a traumatic loss by banding together, but each member of the group quickly found that they could never be the same again.

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly don't know what this is. It started out simple, I wanted to do a hurt/comfort thing with Derek and Stiles so that I could get those emotions out there. I wanted this to be all about sterek but that just didn't happen and now I have this and I don't really know what to do about it other than share it. I hope you guys like it, I kinda do even though I think it's a little awkward in some spots. Hopefully those spots are either something that can be looked past and this is still good or they are something that is all because I'm not sure what to do with this. Anyway, thanks for reading, let me know what you think about it.
> 
> (p.s. this is my  Tumblr  if you want to check it out)


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